Following a divorce or custody determination in New York, a frequent concern for co-parents is: “Do I really need my ex’s permission for this?” Determining what decisions you can make independently versus those requiring joint agreement isn’t always clear. This uncertainty spans various areas, from selecting a new healthcare provider or enrolling a child in a new sport to traveling out of state. The resolution typically hinges on your custody order and whether the decision is categorized as a routine day-to-day choice or a major life decision for the child. Please continue reading as we break down when your ex-partner’s consent is necessary, the steps to take when disagreements arise, and how an experienced Suffolk County Child Custody Attorney can assist you. 

Who Gets to Make Decisions About the Kids?

New York State distinguishes between two types of child custody: legal and physical. Legal custody refers to the authority to make major decisions concerning the child, including, but not limited to, education, non-emergency medical care, mental health treatment, religious upbringing, and extracurricular commitments. Physical custody, on the other hand, determines where the child resides and which parent is responsible for the child’s daily supervision and care.

Courts recognize that a child’s best interests are served by having both parents actively involved in their lives. Consequently, most parents are granted joint legal custody, which entails shared responsibility for making significant decisions. It should be noted that naming one parent as the primary residential parent does not automatically grant them the unilateral authority to make all major decisions. Your court order or settlement will define legal custody:

  • Joint Legal Custody: Both parents share responsibility for making significant decisions
  • Sole Legal Custody: One parent retains the exclusive right to make major decisions
  • Joint Legal Custody with Final-Decision Making Authority: Parents are required to confer about significant decisions

What Decisions Can I Make Without My Ex-Partner’s Consent?

When it comes to co-parenting arrangements, each parent retains control over day-to-day decisions concerning the child while the child is in their care. These routine decisions commonly include:

  • Establishing bedtimes, routines, and household rules
  • Determining the child’s diet, clothing, and after-school activities
  • Arranging social activities, such as playdates, provided they do not conflict with the other parent’s scheduled time
  • Implementing ordinary and reasonable disciplinary measures

The consent of the other parent is not required for these standard matters, unless a specific court order is violated.

What Counts as a “Major” Decision Requiring Joint Input?

Major decisions are those with a long-term impact on your child’s life, including:

  • Education
  • Non-emergency medical and mental healthcare
  • Religious upbringing
  • Relocation
  • High-intensity extracurriculars

If you have joint legal custody, you ar requied to consult with the other parent regarding these types of decisions. You must either reach a mutual agreement or, if necessary, petition the court for a resolution.

For more information, please don’t hesitate to contact an attorney at the Law Offices of Susan A. Kassel, P.C.